Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Good morning crew,

Get how smart I am. I have had bad luck selling the condo. There have been more than a couple parties who have expressed interest in it, but apparently nobody can get a loan.

So instead of a $200,000 house...I bought a new couch. I know I said I wasn't going to make any more purchases until I got a house...but it was 50 percent off. Really, it would have been irresponsible NOT to buy it.

But here's the trick; the store gave me 12 months of zero percent financing. So I have to pay the thing off within a year. That shouldn't be a problem...unless do some something crazy.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!

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"Hey, I heard that 7-Eleven is now selling potato chips that taste like hot dogs. Seriously? I'm still waiting for 7-Eleven to sell hot dogs that taste like hot dogs." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A newspaper is a thing that people used to read. It's like a website, but all the information is from yesterday." -Craig Ferguson

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"A new version of the Bible is being published that is gender-neutral. For instance, the books of 'Mark, Luke, and John' are now the books of 'Kris, Jean, and Terry.'" --Conan O'Brien

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Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering.

One day, his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry.

Once the customer had looked over the menu for a few minutes, the waitress approached him and asked, "Sir, did you notice that I scratched something you like?"

Without looking up from the menu, he quickly replied, "Well, would you mind washing your hands before you bring me my ham and eggs?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game. The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor.

They were the first roller coasters. Back in those days, the disks were made of iron, and they would bet on whose disk would roll the farthest.

They called them ferrous wheels.