Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Good morning crew,

As anybody who owns a computer knows, the Internets can take you to some pretty strange places. For instance, today I spent an hour reading about the crusades (I mean diligently working). Here's something I bet you didn't know. There were three orders of religious warriors, or knights, that sprang out of the crusades.

The most famous were the Templars. The next most famous, although they were established first, were the Hospitallers. Who can tell me who the third were?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"It doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." --Darrin Weinberg

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"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been passionate, rebellious, and immature." --Tom Robbins

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"I'll keep it short and sweet. Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business." - Montgomery Burns, THE SIMPSONS

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On a curvy mountain highway late one night, my dad was complaining about the car behind us. "That guy must be drunk!" he said. "Every time I move over to let him pass, he slows down. When I get back on the road, he gets closer and stays on my tail."

A few minutes later, the car turned on a set of flashing blue lights. Coming up to our window, the officer said, "Sir, I'd like you to take an alcohol test. You've been swerving on and off the road for the last fifteen minutes!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said, "There's some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half..."

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"

The boy replied, "Canada, Sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there."

"Really," replied the manager, "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"