Thursday, December 22, 2011

Good morning crew,

You know what today is? That's right...it's the first day of Winter. Consequently it is also the Winter Solstice. That means tonight will be the longest night of the year. The old pagan religions gave a lot of importance to the solstice, probably because after this date the length of daylight starts to increase and they wouldn't have had to spend so much time wandering around in the dark wondering if the bear that was about to attack them was one of their relatives reincarnated with a chip on his shoulder.

But to me it just means we're finally on our way back to Summer. Only 25 weeks. And two days until Christmas!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here

***
"Ninety-nine percent of the eggnog purchased all year is purchased during the week before Christmas. And 99 percent of that eggnog is poured down the drain during the week after Christmas." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"There's only a few days left to finish your Christmas shopping. Or as most guys look at it, 'There's still a few days left to start my Christmas shopping.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"Here's a fun fact: You know how much Christmas wrapping paper is on the average roll? Four inches less than you need." -Jay Leno

***
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.

"You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.

"Don't worry. Santa will never know."

He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know if you dropped a cookie on the floor?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was "just up ahead."

One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald spots and is straight."