Thursday, February 21, 2013

Good morning crew,

Wow! 10 days. My federal tax refund was just deposited in my account and it only took 10 days from when I filed. For the federal government that is like light speed. If you are getting a tax refund you have to file electronically. That is the way to go.

But this refund will mark something of a milestone for me. For the first time in about 12 years I will be debt free. I still have the condo, of course, and that is still under water, but when I pay off my credit card with this deposit I will have no other debt. No truck payment, no loan payment, even the wedding is paid off.

And the cherry on the cupcake is that I will still have a few kopeks leftover after my credit card payoff. It has been so long since I haven't had some outstanding debt to pay I don't even know what to do with it. Unfortunately, my wife does.

She has been dropping me not so subtle hints like emailing me flight schedules and air fares to Las Vegas.

Now I was born at night, but it wasn't last night. I am smart enough to know that going to Las Vegas isn't like going to one of our local casinos. You blow a couple hundred bucks on penny slot machines and a few drinks there and you are only an hour's drive home to Raman noodles and a Spam sandwich. But in Las Vegas you are trapped until your return flight leaves in a town that is designed by the greediest minds in the world for the sole purpose of separating you from whatever is in your checking account, plus next month's mortgage payment.

So I have got to be strong and put my foot down. It is the job of the man of the house to be fiscally responsible. That money is safer in the savings account than in the belly of a Vegas slot machine.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!

***
"It's a great day for a bunch of thieves in Belgium. They got away with more than $50 million worth of pure, uncut diamonds. This diamond heist is the biggest robbery ever pulled off at an airport if you don't count them charging $25 to check a bag." -Craig Ferguson

***
"A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, 'I'm suing whoever's responsible for this!' And her professor said, 'Don't you mean WHOMEVER?'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving at 11 miles-an-hour." -Conan O'Brien

***
A man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies' clothing store.

After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow's wife came out of the changing room again.

He looked at her and immediately said: "That looks good on you. Get that one."

"Honey," she replied, "this is what I was wearing when we came in."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
In the small, family-owned store in Spokane, Washington where I work, we often get folks from out of town whose idioms are a little different from our own. One day, after parking her car across the street in an attended lot, a young woman came in. She made her purchase and then asked, "Do you give validation?"

Without batting an eye, my manager replied, "You are an excellent, successful person, and I love your hair."