Monday, September 8, 2014

Good morning crew,

Nothing lets you know just how out of shape you are like packing. The wife and I spent Friday night, Saturday and Sunday packing up boxes and carrying them downstairs to store in the garage until it is time to move.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but it feels like somebody was punching me in the thighs and butt for about 8 hours. And we haven't even started the hard part yet.

Maybe I should start one of those specialty fitness regimens. I'll call it Extreme Packing and Moving.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new survey found that the tooth fairy left about 42 cents less in 2011 than it did the year before. When kids lose teeth now, they're like, 'Ehh, I'm gonna hold onto this until the market improves.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"How many of you have kids heading off to college? Well, don't you worry, because that liberal arts degree? That thing is a license to print money." -Dave Letterman

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"The NFL season kicked off officially tonight. It's that magical time of the year when millions of Americans transition from checking Facebook all day at work to checking their fantasy football lineups all day at work." -Jimmy Kimmel

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I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried."

"It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence.

"Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?"

When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I deliver pizza to help cover my college tuition. Once I called on customers who sent their seven-year-old son to pay me. As he approached the screen door, I noticed he was carrying a check in one hand and two dollars in the other, which I assumed was my tip.

To my dismay, he pocketed the bills before handing me the check, which was for the exact cost of the pizza.

"Could that have been a tip?" I asked, trying not to sound accusatory.

"Yep," he replied proudly. "not bad for just a walk from the living room and back!"