Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Good morning crew,

Payday. Thanks to a little legerdemain I will be able to pay all of my bills with the exception of the credit card which has the expenses from last month's Florida trip and this month's truck AC repair on it. And I was really getting close to paying it off, too.

Well, the important thing is to keep your head above water, right? Because each month gets a little bit better.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


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"At the end of our first date the girl told me I was crazy in the head and I should be committed to a mental institution. Why do women always want us to make a commitment?" -Unknown

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"When you get married and have a kid, you can't do all those things you wanted to do as a young existentialist of seventeen or eighteen... like kill yourself." -Al Rae

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"The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless." -Nicholas Chamfort

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DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE
[Or, "Welcome to my life."]

* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you.

* Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire.

* The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.

* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

* When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam.

* Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long.

* 23 power cords - 1 outlet.

* The carpet has been there since 1976 (or older) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers.

* If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say, "What? I didn't hear you."

* You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!"

"Don't look where?" my brother asked.

"There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!"