Monday, January 13, 2014Good morning crew,
Welcome back to the work week everybody! Hey, come on! Don't stone the messenger. It's not my fault it's Monday. Besides, if you planned your weekend right you should be so exhausted that you're actually looking forward to getting back to work and finally getting some rest!
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"A new study found that babies as young as nine months can tell the difference between friends and enemies. Which raises a lot of questions, like: What kind of babies have enemies?" -Jimmy Fallon
***"The polar vortex that's terrorized much of the United States and Canada this week is just about gone. I'm kind of disappointed in the polar vortex. It's a pretty unsuccessful vortex if not a single person gets pulled into a different dimension." -Jimmy Kimmel
***"The government is accusing the makers of several weight loss products of deceiving the public. Probably the most deceptive of these companies ? Cinnabon." -Conan O'Brien
***Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck hunting? They bought new outfits & equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good. But after several hours of thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this. We've been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do you think we're doing something wrong?"
"I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*Two friends are discussing the possibility of love.
"I thought I was in love three times," one friend says.
"How so?" his friend asks.
"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me."
"Was that not love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two years ago I deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."
"Was that love?"
"No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere we met on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."
"Was that love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was seasickness."