Monday, July 16, 2012

Good morning crew,

Neither age and experience nor marriage has convinced the wife to respect my judgment when it comes to partying.

On Saturday we drove way the heck up to a town called Deer Tick, or something or other, to attend a birthday barbecue. When we got close to our destination we made a stop to pick up a little something to bring to the party.

Never show up empty-handed is cardinal rule number one.

I, of course, wanted to get a case of beer, slap a bow on it and voila. Especially since the honoree was a guy, you don't need much more.

But my sweetie was not convinced by this strategy. She insisted we pick up a bottle of some trendy liquor in a designer bottle. Despite my better judgment I acquiesced.

As we were walking out of the store I suggested to her that she give the host a call to see if he needed anything at the last minute, like an extra bag of ice or charcoal or something. Once again she argued against it. Why would someone invite a bunch of people to their house and then not stock food, drinks and ice?

Fast forward 15 minutes as we pull up to the house. We go inside to discover that not only were the host and his wife not there, but they had not stocked food, beer or ice.

So as we sat chatting with a couple of strangers and drinking room temperature tap water I turned to my wife and said, "You owe me!"

"I know," she replied. "Tomorrow I'll buy you all the cold beer you want."

"Don't promise something you can't deliver," I told her.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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***
"A new study found that bacon and freshly baked bread are Americans' favorite smells. Yeah, this morning instead of putting on cologne, I just rubbed my neck with a B.L.T." -Jimmy Fallon

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"NASA discovered that Pluto has five moons. We have just one moon. We're moon-ogamous here on planet earth." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"The inside of my car was so hot today that I was steering with my knees even when I wasn't texting." -Jay Leno

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I was on my way out of the house to meet with a cantankerous client, and I was dreading it. The look on my face must have given me away because my five-year-old daughter asked what was wrong.

"I'm going to meet a mean woman who always yells at Daddy," I told her.

"Oh," she said. "Say hi to Mom."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.

As they passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden, one of the boys asked, "Father, what's that?"

Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."