Thursday, June 2, 2011

Good morning crew,

Does anybody know how to unglue a sock from the floor?

Last weekend I did a few little projects around the condo including gluing down a loose linoleum tile in the laundry room. Apparently I used a bit too much glue, because some of it squeezed out of the cracks after I had pressed the tile down.

What I did not count on is how long it takes the glue to dry, because the next night I was standing in the laundry room doing laundry, and when I tried to step away I found that my foot was glued to the floor.

And it was really stuck, too! I had to take my foot out of my sock. So now I have to figure out how to get the sock up without leaving a quarter-sized patch of white cotton in the middle of the floor.

Fortunately I was wearing socks or else I might still be standing there right now!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!

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"A helping word to one in trouble is like a switch in a railroad track...an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity." -Henry Ward Beecher

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"All animals, except man, know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it." -Samuel Butler

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"All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move." -Benjamin Franklin

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When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife.

"That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,'" he said. "And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for about $798,000."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Excited, I wrote down my phone number.

Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.