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Tuesday, May 6, 2014Good morning crew,
Now I truly believe that there is such a thing as miracles. The reason I have come to this conviction is that the absolutely most unlikely thing has occurred in my life. The phone company sent me a check.
When I first received it I was suspicious. You know how some shady companies will send you a check with a letter that says,
"YOU have been PRE-APPROVED for 1,000 dollars CASH MONEY! That's right, Occupant, just cash this check and use the money for home improvements, that VACATION you've been meaning to take or even a NEW CAR! All you have to do is take this check TO THE BANK and CASH it! You know you want to, what are you waiting for?"
Of course, once you cash it they sock you with a 28.5 percent compound interest rate and put your name and address on every single solicitation list in the United States and Canada. If you do manage to pay the $13,000 dollars in interest charges you'll be getting cold calls from here 'til doomsday.
So hoping to avoid such a scam I called their number and made an inquiry. It really was the phone company. It seems there was a rate cut a couple years ago when I changed services but they never changed my bill, so gave me a retro-active refund! I can only think of one solution. The FCC must really be on their butts.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"A Beverly Hills podiatrist makes his living by giving women the 'Cinderella Procedure,' a surgery that alters the shape of feet so they can fit into designer shoes more comfortably. One day, God willing, technology will advance to where it's easier to alter a shoe than a human foot." -Seth Meyers
***"An old tour bus used by Willie Nelson is for sale on eBay for $36,000. That makes sense - 6 grand for the bus, 30 grand for whatever you find in the seat cushions." -Craig Ferguson
***"The new 'Spider-Man' movie opened this weekend. You know, whenever there is mortal danger, what you want is a teenager in spandex." -Dave Letterman
***As he was standing in line at the grocery store checkout counter, a friend of John's noticed he was purchasing a dozen roses and a card.
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"Nope!" was John's reply. "Preventive maintenance."
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Driving along the freeway in Southern CA, I spied two landscaping trucks loaded with sod and bearing these slogans: "Instant Grassification" and "Sodisfaction Guaranteed."