Thursday, September 8, 2011

Good morning crew,

I made a few measurements last night and I think I have a small problem. The couch I bought is bigger than my doorway.

I had a niggling premonition about this when I bought the thing, but now I have hard numbers to confirm my fears. My only hope is that the delivery guys, who I hope are professionals, can twist and manipulate the couch such a way as to slightly bend the laws of Euclidean geometry.

And if that doesn't work they can try to accelerate it toward the doorway. Theoretically, the closer an object gets to the speed of light the shorter it becomes relative to anything stationary (like a doorway). However, at near light speed its mass will be many thousands of times its normal condition. That won't make a difference to the delivery guys who will be moving at the same speed while carrying it, but I don't know if the building structure will be able to handle the weight.

But that would be the least of my problems, because at relativistic speeds time travels much slower so it would take them forever to get the thing inside the apartment and I have to be back at work in the afternoon.

I guess I'll see how it goes tomorrow. I'll fill you in on the results of the experiment next week.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don't think there will be a second date." -David Letterman

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"'Dancing With the Stars' has big names this season, including that guy from that thing." -Craig Ferguson

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"Beaches in Italy are now training dogs to become lifeguards. That should work as long as someone throws a tennis ball at you while you're drowning." -Jimmy Fallon

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A four-year-old was showing a little friend the family photos that covered one wall in their basement. Out of sight but not out of earshot, her mother overheard her say, "Here's a picture of my mommy when she was a little girl. I wasn't there, but people say she used to be nice."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A group of tourists were watching the re-enactment of an ancient Egyptian religious ritual. One turned to a nearby local, pointed to the statue that was being praised and asked, "Pardon me, but what was the name of that god supposed to be?"

"Why do you ask?" the man replied.

The tourist shrugged. "Just idol curiosity, I guess."