Monday, November 30, 2015

Good morning crew,

Is it Monday? Did I make it? Whew! What with the holiday, the four day weekend, plus the wife went out of town to attend a wedding and left me home alone with that vicious little dog of hers and 200 pounds of laundry, I wasn't sure I would survive to see another week.

Well, it was nothing that a little ingenuity, determination and alcohol couldn't handle.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found that humans started wearing clothes about 170,000 years ago. In fact, the first sentence ever spoken was, 'Me look fat in this?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Cyber Monday is a day that every store online puts everything on sale. It's basically Black Friday for people too lazy to put on pants." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"President Obama told Congress it must raise our debt limit because the U.S. 'is not a deadbeat nation.' Then the president added, 'By the way, if China calls, I'm not here.'" -Conan O'Brien

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My sister and I were out on the town one night when we ran into a man I knew. "You're sisters?" he asked incredulously. "You look nothing alike.

Pointing to her nose and my chin, my sister said, "Different plastic surgeons."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."

She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference."