Monday, March 26, 2012

Good morning crew,

Since I haven't spent EVERY single weekend involved with some martial arts function, I decided to volunteer to help out at a booth our school had rented at a Kids Expo this weekend.

Mostly what I did was stand around for a few hours and hold boards for little kids to break and then hand a coupon to the parents.

Of course, half the booths there were giving away some kind of candy or snack so all of the kids were hopped up on sugar and caffeine.

I must have touched four or five dozen sticky, hyper-active, little maniacs. I thought for sure I was going to end up sick, but by some miracle I escaped that.

And then despite my most solemn and sacred vow not to spend any money this weekend, I let the girlfriend guilt-trip me into taking her out to dinner Saturday night.

Well, she did have a gift certificate to the restaurant After all, so it was more like saving money than spending it. At least that is the way I am justifying it in my mind.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights." -David Letterman

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"Pope Benedict will visit Mexico this weekend. Historians say he will be the first Pope ever to attend spring break." -Jay Leno

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"A man in Oregon said his snow globes started a fire after he left them in the sun for too long. Fortunately, his wife wasn't injured because she left him when he started collecting snow globes." -Jimmy Fallon

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A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay.

She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five years salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they paid the full premiums."

"I can't help but asking madam why you would leave a job with such benefits," the interviewer replied.

The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."

The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter that next day. The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."