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Monday, June 8, 2015Good morning crew,
You know what I hate? Correction: you know what I used to hate? Trying to interest my wife in a movie she has absolutely no interest in. Even if it is a great movie, she will pretend to watch, but will constantly get distracted and miss important plot points.
Just last night 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' came on cable and I was properly scandalized when the wife said she had never seen it.
Granted, it is no 'Bridesmaids' or 'Notebook', two of her favorite movies, but I felt that 'Close Encounters' has enough cultural significance to try to get her to watch it.
Since Kristen Wiig wasn't getting high on a plane in the first five minutes, the wife got up to go to the bathroom, take her laundry out of the dryer, put her cell phone on the charger, get a glass of iced tea and balance her checkbook, presumably, considering the amount of time she took.
By the time she returned to the living room Hooper was already chasing the lights across Muncie.
Predictably, at the end of the movie when the aliens release the bomber pilots from Flight 19 the wife started asking all sorts of questions about what the hell was going on, because really, the last ten minutes of the movie is a little confusing if you miss the first fifteen.
So I told her she missed the scene where the U.S. Air force has a big battle with the aliens, but the jet fighters couldn't penetrate the alien force field until a marine pilot and a scientist hijack an alien ship and fly it into space to blow up the mothership.
She said, "Isn't that the plot to 'Independence Day'?"
I told her, "They stole that from this movie!"
Now I have a moral dilemma. Should I let her go on believing that 'Independence Day' ripped off its plot from 'Close Encounters'? It might be worth it just for the comedic value in the future.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
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***BOYFRIEND 5.0 TO HUSBAND 1.0...Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*The fragrance department of a major New York City store where I shop is always pushing the latest scents. Attractive models move about the floor offering to spray customers with the newest bouquet.
One day, outside the store's restaurant, a model sprayed two women who had just finished their lunch. When one woman commented that the perfume was too strong, the model replied, "The fragrance will be softer once it dries and the alcohol wears off."
"See!" her friend chided. "I told you not to have that second drink."