Friday, September 18, 2015

Good morning crew,

The wife was a bit upset when I intimated in Clean Laffs that she poisoned the dog, especially after I told her that about 50 subscribers wrote in to caution me that garlic (and presumably garlic meatballs) is bad for dogs. So she sent me an article which said that healthy dogs can quite safely consume up to 1/8 teaspoon of garlic per day (or more depending on their weight), and not suffer any ill effects. In fact, the article says garlic has many of the same health benefits for dogs as it does for humans (like stimulating immune functions).

I don't know about these quacks referenced in the article; Dr. Martin Goldstein (author of The Nature of Animal Healing) and Dr. Pitcairn (author of The Complete Guide to Natural Health for Dogs and Cats), but I do know we're not going to be feeding the mutt any more garlic meatballs.

The little thing is completely recovered, by the way. Thanks to everybody who wrote in.

As for this weekend, I have to assist in promotion testing at the school Saturday morning and then...Oktoberfest!

Yes, the wife and I will be celebrating the marriage of Crown Prince Ludwig of Bavaria and Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen at one of the largest Oktoberfests in the greater western Chicago suburbs.

It started last week, and unfortunately, by tomorrow we will already have missed some of the main attractions like the three-man Bavarian sensation, Alpine Thunder, and The Amazing Mike who plays musical beer bottles. But we will be able to catch the polka stylings of Indy Polkamotion, and The Talisman Band and their famous lady accordion player.

And I doubt they're going to run out of giant pork shanks, schnitzel sandwiches, fried saurkraut balls and, of course, original Hofbrau Octoberfest Bier.

I'll let you know next week if anybody gets arrested.

Enjoy your weekend, I know I'm going to enjoy mine.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The government has unveiled a new website that predicts your financial worth after graduating college. It doesn't give you a number, just tells you which Starbucks you'll be working at and for how long." -Conan O'Brien

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"Kellogg's announced today that it will be spending 450 million dollars in an effort to expand its food distribution to Africa. Though sadly, it was reported today that Tony the Tiger was gunned down by a Minnesota dentist." -Seth Meyers

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"A lot of people are getting excited about the upcoming visit by Pope Francis. This Pope is very popular, but I saw that in a recent interview he said that he's felt 'used' by certain people who only pay attention to him when they need something. Then God was like, 'Um, hello! That's like 99 percent of my day!'" -Jimmy Fallon

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The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can't post

Thou Shalt Not Steal,
Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,
and Thou Shall Not Lie

in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.

If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."