Thursday, July 12, 2012

Good morning crew,


Hi Joe, I used to think that you were a cool guy. But now that you are married and keep calling your wife "The Wife", I am rethinking how I feel about you. What is wrong with using her first name when you are referring to her? -Mike

Despite what you see on Facebook, a lot of people don't like having the intimate, and often embarrassing details of their lives broadcast to a bunch of strangers. Did you think that maybe "The Wife" doesn't want the dozens of people who read my publication to know who she really is? I guess I could make up a pseudonym for her. Maybe a character from one of my favorite movies, like Dorcas, played by Julie Newmeyer in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.


If you had read your rental car agreement closely, you would've seen that there are several roads in Maui that you are not allowed to drive a rental car. If you had an accident on those roads, you would've been responsible for the damages.

What ACME Rental Agency doesn't know, won't hurt 'em, like the fact that I took my jeep off-roading, or that I topped the gas tank off with a garden hose.


Dear Joe, Marriage has made you a better writer ? or just prompted you to put what you saw into words! LOVED the description of Hana Highway. Keep it up! -Lisa

Yeah, narrowly cheating death always makes good reading, especially if it is not happening to you. Not sure about marriage, though. Let's see if you are still engrossed by my columns when I start writing about trying to balance a joint checking account.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here

***
"The White House is telling Americans not to 'read too much' into Friday's bad jobs report. Or as Americans put it, 'You had me at 'don't read too much.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Road kill is now legal to eat in Illinois. It's part of their new 'Meals Under Wheels' program." -Jay Leno

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"A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names." -Conan O'Brien

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A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming to visit her for the holidays. Someone asked how old her sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and then answered, "She's half as old as I am, that's how I always remember."

So someone else (okay, it was me) said, "That's neat... So every year that you age, she only ages half a year?" My co-worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh, yeah, I guess it only works on even years."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.

"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.

The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."