Monday, June 6, 2011

Good morning crew,

Welcome to a new week, folks. I had quite an exciting weekend. It was a nice, balmy 90 degrees Friday afternoon on the drive home from work, so I decided to turn the AC on in the truck for the first time this year. And wouldn't you know it, but it would only blow warm air.

So first thing Saturday morning I took it to the mechanic who was happy to replace the compressor and recharge the entire system for a mere eight hundred bucks.

That's what summer is all about, isn't it? Well, I did pay off the truck only two months ago, and I have been looking for a way to celebrate. I guess a new AC compressor is the perfect thing to get myself!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


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"I just went shark-diving in the Bahamas. If you've never been to the Bahamas, imagine Fantasy Island but without the midget." -Craig Ferguson

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"They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18, and that doesn't count college, which is like $50,000 a year. So kids, if you want to give dad a great Father's Day gift, run away." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A new report found that 20 percent of people over 45 had to dip into their retirement savings last year. And the other 80 percent said, 'retirement savings?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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A Mexican restaurant I pulled up to looked great. Only one problem: It wasn't open. So I jotted down the name for another day. Just then, a man came out of the restaurant and took a peek at what I'd written.

"That's not the name of the restaurant," he said, pointing to the sign over the door. "That's Spanish for 'Closed on Mondays.'"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time... And no cheating!

1: You are competing in a race and overtake the runner lying in second place. In which position are you now?




Answer: If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second. For the next question try not to be so dim.

2: If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?




Answer: If you answered second-last, once again you're completely wrong. Think about it. How can you over take the person coming last? If you're behind them then they can't be last. The answer is impossible! It would appear that thinking is not one of your strong points.

Anyway, here's another to try, don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember your replies must be instantaneous. Take heart!

3: Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000. Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What is the total?




Answer: 5000? Wrong again! The correct answer is 4100. Try again with a good calculator. Today is clearly not your day. Although you should manage to get the last question right...

4: Marie's father has five daughters: 1. Chacha 2. Cheche 3. Chichi 4. Chocho Question: What is the fifth daughter's name? Think quickly... you'll find the answer below.




Answer: Chuchu? WRONG! It's obviously Marie! Read the question again.