Thursday, July 29, 2010
Good morning crew,
I'm a bit late today as I spent the entire morning in
meetings which, as far as I'm concerned, serve no other
purpose than to waste time and give me a splitting head-
ache. I did, however, get caught up on a lot of day-
dreaming that I've been meaning to do, so the morning
wasn't an entire waste.
Okay, let's get on with some laughs!
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
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"A woman from Washington is suing American Airlines for $5
million after they lost her luggage. When the airline said
that's a ridiculous amount of money for luggage, she was
like, 'Now you know how we feel.'" -Jimmy Fallon
***
"Economists say that a college degree may not be necessary
to succeed in life. I didn't have a degree and here I am.
Seriously, kids, go to college." -Craig Ferguson
***
"Lindsay Lohan is being released from prison next week.
I just hope she does her time and keeps her nose clean.
I would hate to see her get shanked in the weight room."
-David Letterman
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My wife and I take turns walking our five-year-old daughter
to the bus stop for school every morning. Today was my turn,
and as me and all the other moms in the neighborhood waited
one of them asked me to say hello to my wife.
"I will," I said. "it'll make her feel better. She has
pneumonia..."
"Oh, poor girl," they all said in unison.
One of them crooked her eyebrow at me and said, "I hope
you're helping her with the kids, the cooking and cleaning."
"I can't," I said pointing to the band aid on my index finger.
"Hangnail."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the
Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon he was asked
to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese,
his address was to be translated by an interpreter sentence
by sentence.
"I want you to know," he began, "I'm tickled to death to be
asked here today."
A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter'
s face. "This poor man," he said in Chinese, "Scratches
himself until he dies, only to be with you today."
____________________________________________________________
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