Friday, January 22, 2016

Good morning crew,

I don't know if my office neighbor, one of your friendly PulseTV.com customer service representatives, is brilliant or clueless.

The other day we were discussing Jesus (our conversations around here are very eclectic) and I asked, "Do you know what languages the sign above the cross of Jesus was written in?"

She shook her head at me.

"I bet you can guess it if you think about it," I said. "There were three and I'll give you the first one. It was Aramaic."

"Greek?" she threw out.

"That's right! One more."

"I don't know," she said, "Hebrew."

"Good guess, but no. I'll give you another hint. Who crucified Jesus?"

"The Romans?"

"That's right. And what language did the Romans speak?"

And I kid you not, she answered, "Romanian?"

I still haven't figured out if she meant that answer as a joke or not.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Amazon has begun revealing details about its upcoming drone delivery program, such as drones adapted specifically to the climate of the city they are in. For example, the Chicago drone will be equipped to handle cold weather, the Seattle drone will be waterproof, and the Detroit drone will be on fire." -Seth Meyers

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"A new report claims that William Shakespeare was a marijuana user and may have been high when he wrote some of his plays. Which explains that one line: 'To be, or not to be... Wait, what was the question?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you're an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level." -Conan O'Brien

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A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"

"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."

"Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.

When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.

"I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit perfectly around his neck."