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Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Good morning crew,

Boy, did I learn a lesson about distributing candy yesterday (or Monday, rather). I had about four bags worth of miniature Snickers, Nestle Crunch, PayDays and something else I can't remember mixed together in a bowl. Whenever some little street urchin would ring my doorbell I would open the door and hold the bowl in front of them so they could select a piece (or sometimes two) of the candy they wanted.

Then about an hour into the night the bell rang to reveal a group of three kids accompanied by two young women (the mothers, I assumed). When I held out the bowl all three kids squealed in delight and grabbed as big of a handful as they could.

I immediately interjected with, "Hey now, HEY NOW!" Whereupon the two women leaned over to see what was going on.

I thought for sure they were going to chastise the youngsters, but when they saw the candy they both exclaimed, "Oooo! Chocolate!" and dug in for a handful themselves. I think I figured out where the kids learned their habits.

That one visit depleted my stock by about half.

After that I started going to the door with several pieces of candy in my hand and distributed it one-by-one.

That stretched me the rest of the night, but one ancillary benefit of this strategy was that I gave away all of the PayDays and was left with a dozen or so Snickers and Crunches at the end of the night.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"It is Halloween, which means you just spent the night handing out candy, or you've been sitting completely still in the dark, pretending that you weren't home." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"In Arizona, the favored Halloween candy is Toblerone. That's when you know you have too many old people living in your state. Where do you even get Toblerone? Are children trick-or-treating at duty-free shops at the airport? I haven't seen Toblerone outside of that." -Jimmy Kimmel

***

"A school in California is testing a new program that forgoes traditional teachers and has students teach and grade each other's classwork. So good luck to the students at 'Straight A's Academy!'" -Seth Meyers

***

My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the gift list on a table and declared, "I think she's too young to get married."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Because," she said, "they've registered for Nintendo games."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back."

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