Friday, May 6, 2016

Good morning crew,

Who went out for Cinco de Mayo yesterday? I'm starting to wish I hadn't. At first I was all motivated to go out, but by the time the wife and I both got home at eight o'clock last night, the prospect of battling a crowd of inebriates at a Mexican restaurant just to pay 10 dollars for watered down margaritas didn't seem like such a good idea.

But the wife didn't want to just sit at home, so we compromised and went to our local pizza joint.

There is nothing like pizza and beer to celebrate the defeat of the French by the Mexican Army at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. But we did order their 'taco' pizza, which actually tastes better than it sounds.

Since the bartender was apparently feeling kind of lonely she ended up buying us a few beers, so we stayed there a bit longer than we should have. We didn't even eat until ten o'clock.

And with a belly full of taco pizza and beer I wasn't able to get to sleep until about 2 this morning.

And that, my friends, is why Clean Laffs is a few hours late.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Researchers are claiming that humans can only maintain close relationships with five people. Which should make for an interesting Mother's Day for my mom and her six kids." -Conan O'Brien

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"Industry experts are speculating that Chipotle could be planning to add breakfast options. Of course, Chipotle already has a breakfast option. It's the half a burrito you woke up next to." -Seth Meyers

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"The U.S. Surgeon General released a statement this week that said more Americans should start going on walks. Then to everyone's surprise, he added, 'Even if you're just going out to have a smoke. Just stand up for once.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument.

"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.

"There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor.

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.

"Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us."

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"

"That's right," he called back, "two pints."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Do you take the bible literally? If so, here are a few questions:

1. Do you really believe that Mary was the virgin mother of Jesus?

2. Is Jesus the Lamb of God?

3. Does this mean that Mary had a little lamb?