Thursday, April 25, 2013

Good morning crew,

We were talking about food in the office today and somebody asked me what I had for dinner last night.

I said, "Two slices of left over pizza, a quarter jar of salsa with some tortilla chips and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

"That's a terrible dinner! What did your wife have?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I didn't see her."

"What? At all?"

"No. I saw her for about a half hour after she got home from teaching and before I went to bed."

"Doesn't she ever cook for you?"

"Of course she does. In fact, she made me dinner for my birthday."

"So she cooks for you once a year?"

"Just about," I said. "Keeps me from getting spoiled."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"NBC has canceled its reality dating show 'Ready for Love' after three episodes. Viewers complained the show was complicated and confusing ? marking the first time a dating show has been canceled for being exactly like dating." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Happy Earth Day. Did you know there are Earth Day greeting cards? There is no better way to celebrate Earth Day than chopping down trees to make cards. -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Yesterday was Earth Day, and you know what I found here on the 14th floor? ? an old-fashioned coal-powered typewriter. I'm so embarrassed." -Dave Letterman

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My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money."

I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back."

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. Or do. Who knows, you might get lucky.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor. Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal. The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage. The music stopped. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, "Who did that? Who did that?"