Monday, January 4, 2016

Good morning crew,

Boy, is it strange to step back into the work-a-day routine after practically ten days of holiday partying. In a couple of hours my body is expecting the first beer of the day followed by turkey or roast beef or pizza or hibachi (the wife and I have been eating out a lot since Christmas), but what it's getting tonight is a can of tuna and lemon water.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A company is working on a new selfie stick shaped like a human arm so users won't look like they're alone in pictures. Instead you'll just look like a completely normal person who's carrying around a severed human arm." -Seth Meyers

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"A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die." -Conan O'Brien

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"A new survey found that a growing number of millennials want to work from home and get more time off. They would have said more, but they had to pick up their gold star for participating in that survey." -Jimmy Fallon

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After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.

"Honey," I said, "what are you doing in here? I left the motor running."

"It's all right, Mom," she replied reassuringly. "I locked the doors."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's your IQ anyway?!"

She shot back defiantly, "20/20!"