Thursday, November 14, 2013

Good morning crew,

There are party plans this weekend. Some friends are organizing a small deep fry so they can indulge their love for deep fried turkey (because one Thanksgiving a year isn't enough).

Nobody is going to have to twist my arm to get me there because I love deep fried turkey too. And I love it even more when I am not the one who has to deep fry it. Not that I don't enjoy cooking, but cleaning up four gallons of oil afterwards is something I would just rather not be responsible for.

I will have to bring something to contribute though, other than beer. What fun, exciting thing can I pop into a deep fryer that would compliment a turkey? Deep fried zucchini? Deep fried potato wedges? I suppose I could actually bring something fresh, or at least baked (like a delicious sweet potato casserole), but once you're at the point of deep frying a turkey why stand on a pretense of being healthy?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Wal-Mart announced that this Thanksgiving they are opening earlier than they ever have. Because what better way to celebrate the pilgrims' arrival than buying crap from China." -Conan O'Brien

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"It's a big day if you're into numerology. 11/12/13. A lot of people wanted to be married on 11/12/13. Because who doesn't love getting invited to a wedding on a Tuesday?" -Craig Ferguson

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"For the first time in 32 years, Butterball is adding male staffers to their Thanksgiving turkey talk line, the phone number you can call if you are having trouble cooking your turkey. One of the guys just yells questions to his wife in the other room." -Jimmy Kimmel

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IF COLLEGE STUDENTS WROTE THE BIBLE:

* The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.

* The Ten Commandments would actually be only five; double spaced and written in large font.

* A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.

* Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.

* Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's E-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

* Reason Cain killed Abel; they were roommates.

* Reason why Moses and followers walked the desert for 40 years; they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

* Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
[This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...]

A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been.

After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin'."

So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared."

At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody knows pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!"