Monday, May 9, 2011

Good morning crew,

I made a call to mom yesterday to wish her a happy Mother's
Day. It wasn't long before she steered the conversation
toward the fact that I haven't been to visit her in over a
year. So I had to promise her that I'd fly out there this
summer.

I already looked into plane tickets and they're well over
two hundred bucks. Add shuttle buses, a hundred bucks for
airport parking and other miscellaneous expenses and it is
going to be one expensive visit.

But she is persuasive. After all, we all only have one
mother. So, it looks like that is going to be my entertain-
ment expense for the summer.

It should be fun. At least I'll get to work on my tan for
a few days. It'll probably be my only opportunity.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

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"For sale," read the ad in our hospital's weekly newsletter,
"sleeveless wedding gown, white, size 8, veil included. Worn
once, by mistake."

***

When hiring new staff at the public library, I always ask
applicants what sort of supervision they'd be most com-
fortable with. One genius answered, "I've always thought
Superman's X-ray vision would be cool."

***

My niece was thrilled to hear that a new car wash was opening
up right in her neighborhood. "How convenient," she said. "I
can walk to it!"


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My wife, a real estate agent, wrote an ad for a house she
was listing. The house had a second-floor suite that could
be accessed using a lift chair that slid along the staircase.

Quickly describing this feature, she inadvertently made it
sound even more attractive: "Mother-in-law suite comes with
an electric chair."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong
number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of
Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a
wife and nine children."

"Is that a record?" the caller inquired, puzzled in her turn.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as
I want to get."

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