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Wednesday, April 22, 2015Good morning crew,
When I got into work this morning somebody asked me how I was doing today.
I said, "You know what life is like; every day is an adventure. As soon as the alarm goes off in the morning I leap out of bed - literally leap! I cannot wait to get out in the world and find out what kind of excitement is in store for me. It's like living on a perpetual adrenaline high."
The person frowned at me and said, "You come here and sit at a desk every day."
"So, don't ask stupid questions," I told him.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"A Wisconsin woman recently got a high school diploma at the age of 103 and says she is now considering going to college. Friends are recommending a two-year college." -Conan O'Brien
***"Ben & Jerry's is working with a beer company to develop a 'salted caramel brownie brown ale' that will be sold later this summer. It'll mark the first time you'll actually feel great after finishing a second pint of Ben & Jerry's. " -Jimmy Fallon
***"Teenagers across the country have been participating in the Kylie Jenner Lips Challenge, in which they place a jar around their lips and suck in air in order to make their lips swell. While teenagers in China have been participating in something called 'school.'" -Seth Meyers
***A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude!"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.
One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.
It will be a while before Jack and Jill head up that hill for a pail of water again.