Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Good morning crew,

Subscribers who actually read Clean Laffs might recall that I used to teach taekwondo. For more than three years. It was no easy job. I never thought it would be that difficult to drill a few basic techniques and simple routines into the soft, mushy skulls of little kids, but I was constantly amazed at their indefatigable obstinacy. Teaching was tiring, taxing, frustrating and infrequently rewarding.

Last year I finally quit. With house-buying occupying so much time, not to mention mental energy, I couldn't justify investing four nights a week in a battle of wills with a bunch of little juvenile delinquents.

I don't mind admitting that finally giving it up felt like a relief. It is not that I wasn't at least marginally successful as an instructor, but walking away was like getting a part of my life back.

Then last week I got a phone call. It seems the master is kind of drowning right now and he's desperate for help.

Now that's a tough decision, let me tell you. It is a commitment after all, and I'll be honest; my patience for this kind of thing has been eroded with experience.

On the other hand I hate to burn bridges or pass up on opportunities. Especially now that I have a house to pay for.

So, I guess I'm going back. I don't know, somehow it feels like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back. If anything it should make for some interesting reading in the future!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"On eBay, a group of four Super Bowl tickets is going for $51,000. Although to be fair, that price includes a full-body rubdown from stadium security." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"SkyMall's parent company has filed for bankruptcy, which could mean the end of the catalog. Airline passengers were really upset. They said, 'Now what am I gonna spit my gum into?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?" -Dave Letterman

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Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to."

Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Congratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!"

Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, do I still have to go to Confession?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?"