Monday, October 3, 2011

Good morning crew,

You might have noticed that I was a bit preoccupied last week. That's because I wasn't here. A group of people had made plans to head up to Michigan to do a little camping, and not wanting to pass up an opportunity to both drink and play with fire the girlfriend and I coordinated with them and I took a few days off work to make the trip happen.

Predictably, on the night before the trip everybody pulled out. Out of the 12 people who had made plans to go, only the two of us did.

And as it turned out, we weren't the smart ones. We suffered through three thunderstorms in the first 24 hours at the camp site.

But I'll give you the rest of the details tomorrow. For now let's enjoy a whole new month. Welcome to October!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!

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"N.A.S.A. says they may never know where the satellite that crashed this week landed. They're planning to wait until it shows up on eBay." -Jay Leno

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"Police in Los Angeles are looking for vandals who broke into the Obama campaign office. They said it was probably done by someone who was angry at the president. Well, that narrows it down." -Craig Ferguson

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"Starting in January, couples can actually get married at McDonald's in Hong Kong. I'm not saying those marriages won't work, but when have you been to a McDonald's and not regretted it one hour later?" -Jimmy Fallon

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Maybe this is why they don't teach music in high school any more. Following are actual answers from students on music tests...

- The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

- Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

- Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

- All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

- Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.

- Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

- A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

- Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

- Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

- I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say.

- Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

- Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I was traveling through Georgia last summer and stopped at a little backwoods country store. In the men's room there was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which said, "Please Wiggel Handel".

Below that some wit had written, "If I do, will it wiggel Bach?"