Monday, May 23, 2016

Good morning crew,

This afternoon I have an appointment with the dentist.

Years ago I made the mistake of waiting well over a year between visits, and that resulted in a most uncomfortable session. Since then I have determined to go religiously every six months.

So, while some strange woman is putting her hands in my mouth you can get started on some laughs.

By the way...do you know what time my appointment is?

It's at tooth hurty.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Happy Birthday to legendary boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, who turned 60 years old today! You can tell he's getting older by his new name - Splenda Ray Leonard." -Jimmy Fallon

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"This week a California man recorded his wife giving birth, and accidentally live streamed it to the world on Facebook. I've heard of people on Facebook oversharing, but ovary sharing? " -James Corden

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"Over the weekend, a man broke the world record for 'Donkey Kong,' making it through the entire game using up just one life. That's right - his own." -Conan O'Brien

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A man was trying to pull out of a parking place, and bashed the bumper of the parked car in front of him. Witnessed by a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got out, inspected the damage, and proceeded to write a note to leave on the windshield of the car he had hit.

The note read:

"Hello. I have just hit your car, and there are some people here watching me who think that I am writing this note to leave you my name and phone number. You should be so lucky!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up an 8-foot fence. The next morning, however, the kangaroo was out again, idly roaming around the zoo.

The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to ten feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming about the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was 20 feet high.

Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo replied, "Who knows? Maybe 50 feet. Unless somebody starts locking the gate at night."