Tuesday, May 28, 2013Good morning crew,
I hope everyone had an enjoyable three-day weekend. Mine was less eventful than it might have been. The wife could not resist taking a pet-sitting job for the weekend (the pet owners literally pushed a wad of cash into her hands and begged her to take the job) so she spent four days at their house and I spent most of the weekend alone.
We did attend a fun, little cookout Monday afternoon where I was able to experiment with marinated steaks, which turned out pretty well, I don't mind saying, but other than that I spent a lot of time doing household chores and playing on the computer.
Overall, an inauspicious start to the summer. But I have high hopes that things will improve.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S.
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***A Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you." So I didn't.
***"My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria. He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working." -Fred Marcum
***"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up." --Unknown
***I telephoned the veterinarian's office to ask when I should take my three month old kitten in to be vaccinated for rabies. After a few initial questions, the woman who answered the telephone asked, "What is the kitten's name?"
"Demon", I replied.
"Demon? That's an odd name," she said.
"Maybe, but it's appropriate anyway."
I heard clicking of a computer keyboard, then she said, "Our records show that you have cats named Gato [which is Spanish for 'male cat'], Scamp, Stinky, and now you named one Demon. Is that right?"
"Yes, it is."
"You really don't like cats, do you?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*Mary was married to a something of a chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly....not any housework. That, he declared, was 'woman's work.'
One evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on.
It turned out that her husband Charley had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office. "How did it work out?" they asked.
"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away."
"But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.
"Oh, that part didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired."