Friday, March 23, 2018

Good morning crew,

Promotion testing at the taekwondo school tomorrow. It is going to be a black belt test as well as a low belt test, which will mean at least a good five hours of standing around barefoot for me.

Well, not just standing around. I will probably get volunteered as a punching bag for the kids to practice their self-defense techniques on, and I will get to hold breaking boards for them while they kick me in the fingers.

But mostly it's standing around for hours while my knees and back slowly stiffen up.

Still, I'd hate to miss it. I have been drilling this stuff into these kids' heads for two solid years, and now that the big day is finally here I'm looking forward to seeing them completely screw everything up.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives




"YouTube is planning a 'Karate Kid' series that follows the characters 34 years later. The show is entitled 'Ralph Macchio's Mortgage Is Due.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
"A giant snowstorm hit the entire East Coast today. People spent the morning posting pictures of the storm on Facebook, and Facebook spent the afternoon selling them." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A new poll has found that a majority of Americans believe the government is spying on them. 'No, we're not,' said your microwave." -Seth Meyers

***
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... you either married it or gave birth to it.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me neither doc," said the husband, "but she's a great cook and really good with the kids."