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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Good morning crew,

I was hoping to finally get a nice, quiet, relaxing couple
of days last weekend, which unfortunately didn't happen
thanks to a backyard birthday party I attended. I thought
it was just going to be a barbecue with a couple coolers
full of beer and some bean bags, and that's how it started
out, but as the hours trickled by and nobody showed any sign
of slackening their pace, including the little kids, I knew
I was in for a long night.

For example, early in the afternoon the kids started piling
into the pool and I made the mistake of teaching them a new
game which involved them climbing out of the pool so I could
throw them back in.

That was fun for the first hour, but when little kids were
still running up to me at ten at night begging to get thrown
into the pool I was way beyond my limit for tossing. In fact,
I almost couldn't get out of bed Sunday morning due to the
solid knot of twisted muscle my back had turned into.

And the adults were no better.

Bean bags turned into ping pong, which turned into drinking
ping pong which turned into beer pong (which is usually a
game played by college kids who haven't learned any better
yet).

At one in the morning most of the partiers were still there
and the host had no other choice, he was forced to pull out
his accordion. By one-fifteen pretty much everybody was gone.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to Buckingham Palace, the British royal family
could be broke by 2012. That's what happens when nobody in
your family has a job in 600 years." -Jay Leno

***

"The American Association of Nude Recreation tried to break
the record for the most people skinny dipping at once. In
other news, the oil spill is now the second-most disgusting
ocean disaster of all time." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"People always ask where I was for my first Fourth of July.
We don't really have the Fourth of July in Britain, it goes
straight from the third to the fifth." -Craig Ferguson


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I was supposed to go out with this guy on Friday night. On
Friday afternoon he called and said that he didn't think it
was a good idea, because he just wanted to be friends.

So I hung up and called him back. He said, "Hello?"

I said, "Hey, friend, it's me. Want to hear what this jerk I
was supposed to go out with just did?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

When hiring new staff at her public library, my daughter
always asks applicants what sort of supervision they'd be
most comfortable with.

One genius answered, "I've always thought Superman's X-ray
vision would be cool."

____________________________________________________________

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