Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Good morning crew,

The reason I find the middle joke in today's issue so funny is because the same thing happened to me once.

If you live close to a big city you know what a nightmare it is to park there. Once I drove around in circles, and I'm not kidding, for 30 minutes while trying to find parking in downtown Chicago.

So when you find a sweet spot within a block or two of where you want to go it is like a blessing. Imagine my elation, on this particular afternoon, when I found a parking spot a mere half block from my destination.

Unfortunately, the spot was right under a sign which read something like, "No parking between 6 AM and 5 FM except on weekends, Federal holidays, snow days and days ending in Y, including, but not limited to, alternating Tuesdays."

While I was standing there, trying to figure out if it was an alternate Tuesday, I saw a police officer standing next to his car, counting the remaining tickets in his book.

So I said, "Excuse me, I'm having a hard time figuring out this sign. Is it okay to park here?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Looks okay to me."

Of course, when I came back out an hour later there was a ticket on my windshield. I have a feeling he was just standing there, waiting for me to park so he could write me a ticket.

Anyway, the $50 the ticket cost me was still probably cheaper than it would have been to park in a garage downtown for the afternoon.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
"The average American citizen - you hear the statistic all the time - works six months out of the year for the government. That's how difficult the taxes are in this country. We work six months out of the year. Government employees don't even do that." -Dave Letterman

***
"A British tech company has debuted new technology that lets clothing store mannequins talk about the outfit they are displaying. Said the inventor, 'The idea came to me in a nightmare.'" -Seth Meyers

***
"The movie 'Noah' comes out this weekend. It follows the story of a family trying to survive God's wrath on a giant boat for months. Or as that's more commonly known, a Carnival Cruise." -Jimmy Fallon

***
Recently in Traffic Court a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you $57. Next."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A German farmer with relatives in the US promised them some fresh pork sausages made by hand from his very own stock of pigs. But as the weeks went by they gave him a call to complain that the package had not yet arrived.

He told them, "Don't worry. The wurst is yet to come."