Monday, November 3, 2014

Good morning crew,

Welcome to November. I hope everybody enjoyed their Halloween. Now all we have to do is keep our heads down for three and a half weeks until Thanksgiving.

Should be easy, right?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A group of wine experts has actually come up with a list of the best wines to pair with Halloween candy. They say, 'White wine goes great with Skittles, red wine goes great with Twix, and... we're alcoholics, aren't we?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees." --David Letterman

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"Last night the San Francisco Giants beat the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 of the World Series. Of course, after the game fans in San Francisco celebrated as fans are known to do - by lighting their city on fire. I've never understood that. If your team wins, why not celebrate by destroying the other team's city?" -Jimmy Kimmel

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A tobacco company sent Dave several packages of cigarettes with the explanation: "We are sending you some of our finest cigarettes. We hope you enjoy them and will want more."

After several months the tobacco company received this reply from Dave: "I got your cigarettes and soaked them in a quart of water which I sprayed on my bug-infested rosebushes. Every bug died!

These cigarettes make best poison ever! Please send me some more next month in case any bugs survived."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Tina," I commented, "I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?"

"At the store," she answered.

"Which one?" I asked.

She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them!"