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Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Good morning crew,

A couple people wrote in to tell me that 'sweetbreads' are not specifically brains, but rather the thymus, pancreas and various other lymphoid and endocrine organs. Imagine my embarrassment.

However, I was a bit relieved also. The wife was none too pleased with me tricking her into eating something not normally found on the Olive Garden menu and I was glad to be able to tell her that in fact, no, she had not eaten a poor, little, knock-kneed, doe-eyed calf's brains...lightly breaded and pan-seared in butter and olive oil. Only its thymus.

I don't think she was much mollified. In fact, she still hasn't spoken more than five words to me.

Women.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A British tech company has debuted new technology that lets clothing store mannequins talk about the outfit they are displaying. Said the inventor, 'The idea came to me in a nightmare.'" -Seth Meyers

***

"Scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself with uglier fish in order to look more attractive. However, scientists could not identify which sorority it belongs to." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien

***

A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier's window and smiled. "I'd like to cash this check, please," she said, handing it over.

The teller examined the check and said: "Could you identify yourself, Miss?"

For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes! It's me, all right!"

The clerk said, "No Ma'am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification."

The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. "This is a recent family photo," she explained. "That's me, third from the left."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"

The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"

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