Monday, January 12, 2015

Good morning crew,

So it was a successful weekend by all accounts. Friday night the wife was still feeling under the weather, so I left her home while I drove up north to the Hofbrauhaus to have Kartoffelpuffer and Wiener Schnitzel with old Mason. They even had live music and a keg tapping ceremony to celebrate their new beer of the month; Dunkelgold. And if you have never seen a fat man in lederhosen pounding a tap into a giant barrel with a big, wooden mallet, and then sang 'Ein Prosit' at the top of your lungs with 2 or 3 hundred other drunks, you're missing out.

After we started getting warnings from the bartender I let Mason talk me into leaving the Hofbrauhaus for a little detour to the casino down the street from the restaurant.

Now, my long-time readers know this is not my usual modus operandi, but Mason was able to persuade me with dazzling arguments of logic like; "Come on!" And when that didn't work he tried, "Come OOOOooon!"

Falling prey to his powers of persuasion I pulled next month's mortgage payment out of the ATM and we set to bleeding the place dry.

To be perfectly honest, over the course of the evening I didn't do too badly. Without the wife there syphoning off the occasional 50 from my winnings, I was actually able to walk away from the place ahead.

And before anybody starts to feel sorry for the poor girl, stuck at home while her spendthrift husband is out painting the town, you should know that the night spent wrapped up in a comforter and sipping hot tea with honey was just what she needed. Come Saturday she was so much improved that she let me take her out and blow my winnings from Friday night on dinner for the both of us.

That turned out to be lucky too, because the restaurant happened to be holding a raffle and we won a free meal, plus a chance to be entered into a drawing for an all-expense paid trip for two to Mexico!

And all because I blew her off.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you're an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level." -Conan O'Brien

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"This week hackers stole over $5 million in bitcoins from a Slovenia-based bitcoin exchange. If it's not safe to keep your money in a Slovenian bitcoin exchange, where CAN you keep your money?" -Jimmy Fallon

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"In Las Vegas, the Consumer Electronics Show is going on. It displays new technology that makes you already hate the TV you bought two weeks ago for Christmas." -Jimmy Kimmel

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A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.

Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply...

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."