Friday, January 2, 2015

Good morning crew,

Wow! This is it. Welcome to a new year, folks. Obviously today is the second, but since we were all (or at least most of us) home in a post-party coma yesterday, Today really feels like the beginning of the new year now that we are all back at work. Just wait until this coming New Year's Eve when the 1st falls on a Friday. Then we will have no reason not to party for three solid days.

The wife and I had a pretty successful party for our first New Year's Eve effort. We had a few last minute cancellations, which means we have a huge amount of left overs, but over all it was pretty typical. There was plenty of beer, wine and food, we welcomed midnight with a champagne toast, and afterward we did a little dancing, had a limbo contest and conducted some kicking drills; you know, the usual stuff.

On the plus side; there is so much beer and wine left over that we won't have to worry about buying that for a couple of months at least, on the other hand the house looks like a tornado blew through it and the wife and I are never going to eat all of the remaining cheese cubes and cocktail weenies before they go bad.

Hmmm...tomorrow is Saturday. I think maybe we should have another party just to get rid of all the stuff. I'm going to talk to the wife about it tonight.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Google has found that Ouija boards are one of this year's most popular toys. You know, because it wasn't bad enough dealing with your LIVING relatives." -Jimmy Fallon

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"British researchers at the University of Leicester piped Duran Duran music into stalls at dairy farms to see if the stimulation makes the cows produce more milk. Reportedly, the cows have given more milk, but unfortunately, it all had an expiration date of March 4, 1986." --Tina Fey

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In Washington D.C., helicopters are often used to monitor the traffic conditions. Frequently jammed is the Francis Scott Key bridge, named after the man who wrote the national anthem. The bridge's traffic problem is notorious; among some, it's known as the Car Strangled Spanner.

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My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old's antics and pounded the table.

Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!"

The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?"

To which a small voice from the back of the room responded: "The small investor."