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Monday, August 22, 2016

Good morning crew,

The wife asked me to make a small correction to last week's story about canceling our lawn service.

Actually, it's more of a qualification than a correction.

While she was the one who canceled the lawn service, I guess, technically, if you really want to get into the nitty gritty details, it was I who told her to do it.

But that doesn't mean she had to listen to me. She doesn't listen to me about anything else.

Laugh it up,


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"Scientists have found a new link between high blood sugar and dementia. Which explains Cinnabon's new slogan, 'The last bite you'll remember.'" -Conan O'Brien


"Teachers at nine universities are using a new technology that can tell if students are actually reading their textbooks. Let me save you some time. They're not." -Jimmy Kimmel


"A new study found that humans started wearing clothes about 170,000 years ago. In fact, the first sentence ever spoken was, 'Me look fat in this?'" -Jimmy Fallon


Dewey was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French."

Dewey ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!"

"Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?"

"I don't know," Dewey replied; "I couldn't understand a word they were saying."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Needing to look up a phone number while at a friend's house, my teenage daughter asked for a phone book. She might as well have asked for a papyrus scroll.

"A phone book?" asked her friend.

"You know," said my daughter. "A book with numbers in it."

"Oh," said her friend as it dawned on her. "You mean a math book."

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