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Monday, January 4, 2010
Good morning crew,
Welcome to a new year, folks! And technically, a new decade.
Do you remember what you were doing in 2000 (I had just
started working for this company, can you belive it)? How
about 1990 (I was still in college). Moments like this give
a person a real opportunity for reflection, and even more
importantly a time to plan for the future.
Well, let's kick the work week off right by taking a quick
break for some laughs. Remember...humor is the spice of life.
Or is it variety? Or Melange? I forget.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We now have a Forum. You can post comments on this and
recent issues at... http://cleanlaffs.gophercentral.com
***
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***
"Looking over the job listings on The Home Depot website,
I noticed one with a highly peculiar job description: 'On
rare occasions there may be a need to move or lift light
articles. Examples include executive assistant, bank loan
officer and accounting clerk.'"
***
"My dad's a writer. His favorite expression is 'The pen's
mightier than the sword,' which I believed for a long time.
Until I moved into the city, and I got into a fight with
this guy. He cut me up real bad, and I drew a mustache on
his face...and then I wrote him a nasty letter."
--Kevin Brennan
***
"Right on the alarm clock is the snooze button, which is
basically a built-in cheating option. I don't know why I
didn't think of it earlier, but finally I just taped it
down." --Arj Barker
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THE SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE
by Saskia Davis
Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a
great many have already been expose to inner peace and it is
possible that people everywhere could come down with it in
epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what
has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in
the world.
Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:
* A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on
fears based on past experiences.
* An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
* A loss of interest in judging other people.
* A loss of interest in judging self.
* A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
* A loss of interest in conflict.
* A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious
symptom.)
* Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
* Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
* Frequent attacks of smiling.
* An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than
make them happen.
* An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others
as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
WARNING: If you have some or all of the above symptoms,
please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be
so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to
anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only
at your own risk.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic
biology students, about to hand out the final exam.
"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this
semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of
you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one
gets their GPA messed up because they might have been
celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like
to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the
test."
There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up,
walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up
on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor
looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked,
"Anyone else? This is your last chance."
One final student rose up and opted out of the final.
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those
students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourselves,"
he said. "You all get 'A's!"
____________________________________________________________
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