Monday, July 22, 2013

Good morning crew,

Well, the Ren Faire was a success, for what it was worth. It was pretty much the usual routine. I did my best not to drink too much beer or buy something expensive and stupid, and failed at both. What they did have new is a liquor called absinthe. Normally you can't get the stuff in the United States, but the rules must have been relaxed recently, either that or the stuff you can get here is not the same stuff you get in Europe. Either way, I talked everyone in our party into trying it with me, because it is something I have never had before and why not?

Everybody that tried it, except me, hated it. It sort of tastes like you what you would expect that blue Barbicide that hair stylists keep their combs in would taste like.

I'm not saying I loved it, but at least I didn't spit it out like a couple members of our party did. At seven dollars per ounce it can taste like Barbicide for all I care. I'm drinking what I pay for.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"It's illegal in baseball to use performance-enhancing drugs, but I watched the All-Star Game. Every commercial was for Viagra. During the game my son said, 'Dad, did he say 'reptile dysfunction?' And I said, 'Yeah, he did. They're talking about malfunctioning reptiles.'"
-Dave Letterman

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"A Utah senator proposed a bill that would no longer require kids to go to school. But then someone noticed that the senator was just three boys in a trench coat standing on top of each other's shoulders." -Conan O'Brien

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"President Obama told a group of school children that broccoli is his favorite food. You know, it's one thing to lie to the voters, but when you're lying to kids, come on." -Jay Leno

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Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress--only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe, a can of spray paint with a false bottom?so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "he put his money in it the same day."

"No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!" I gloated.

"They won't have to," my mom replied. "He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."