Thursday, January 2, 2014

Good morning crew,

Welcome to a new year, everyone! And we are starting it off with a bang here in the Chicago area with a moderate flurry of 10-to-18 inches of snow.

I hope you had a safe and enjoyable New Year's Eve and Day. I had a few adventures which I will tell you about next week, but as for today I am going to leave the office a little early in anticipation of the 5-mile-per-hour traffic I will almost certainly be facing on the way home.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!

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Since spaghetti is now 'pasta' and a TV set is a 'home entertainment system,' the manager of my grocery store did his best to jazz up the lowly egg.

He still has some work to do. A sign he put up in the dairy section advertised "Boneless Chicken."

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When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says..."If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER." So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"

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Before I could enroll in my company's medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance.

One question asked, "Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room within the next three months?"

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Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.

However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"

"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Students at school were asked to write about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."