Monday, November 20, 2017

Good morning crew,

It's going to be a short week for me, like it will be for a lot of folks, I imagine. Except for the poor stiffs in retail. They're in for a loooong five days.

Me? I'm in for a loooong three days, because I have to get everything I need for the week done before Thursday. And that includes shopping, but I'll tell you about that later.

So, I had better get started.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Two photographs that went missing from the Museum of a Modern Art in New York were mailed back to the museum just a few days later by the alleged thief. Which is, you know, great for the museum. Got to be a bit of a blow to the ego of the artist. 'Your photographs were so popular they were stolen! No, wait, they sent them back.'" -James Corden

***
"China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that's only if we pay them the money we owe them, and that's not going to happen." -Seth Meyers

***
"A skydiver in California just became the first person to jump out of a plane from 25,000 feet without a parachute and land in a net. Or as Southwest Airlines calls that, 'Business Class.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
Jim and Joe stop in front of a pastry shop and Jim says, "Let me show you how to get yourself a free snack."

Stepping through the door Jim reaches behind the counter a slips a big, frosted cookie into his coat pocket before the baker has a chance to look up and see what's going on.

Winking at Joe, Jim whispers, "What do you think about that?"

At that point the baker walks over and asks if he can help them. Joe winks back at Jim, then says to the baker, "I bet you a free cookie I can show you a magic trick you've never seen before."

The baker says, "If it's a good enough trick I guess it's worth a free cookie."

Joe says, "Watch this!" and takes a big, frosted cookie off the counter and munches away until it's gone. Then he says, "Ta-da!"

The baker leans over the counter and says in a menacing voice, "There better be one good magic trick coming up or you're going to be talking to the police."

Joe gives Jim grin and then says to the baker, "Just take a look in my friend's pocket."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus."

So I honked. The driver leaned out his window, gave me an very impolite gesture, and yelled, "Can't you see the light is still red, you MORON!?"