Monday, August 12, 2013Good morning crew,
I almost had a nice, relaxing, boring weekend, but at the last minute a friend of mine tempted the wife and I to a White Sox baseball game on Sunday with a couple of free tickets.
That was fun. Expensive, but fun. Despite not having to pay for either the tickets or parking I still managed to spend about 80 bucks.
And the wife and I both got sun burns. But it beats sitting inside and watching TV or playing computer games on a glorious, sunny summer day.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S.
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***"Researchers at the University of Chicago say that dolphins, not elephants, have the longest memories in the animal kingdom. They confirmed this when a dolphin was upset that an elephant it had met 20 years ago didn?t even recognize him." -Jay Leno
***"A scientist has figured out a way to turn coffee grounds into alcohol. He is not so much a scientist as he is an alcoholic." -Conan O'Brien
***"The third-largest lottery drawing in the U.S. took place last night, a Powerball jackpot worth $448 million. The jackpot will be split between three winners. After taxes and jet skis, I think the winnings work out to $148." -Jimmy Kimmel
***No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet.
The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double- checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"