Friday, February 20, 2015

Good morning crew,

There is a martial arts tournament this weekend and I have been guilt tripped into refereeing. It is not a terribly difficult job; basically organizing a bunch of little kids, lining them up, telling them when to start, ordering them to stop, and keeping them from kicking each other in the head when they're not supposed to.

But it is a loooong day, especially when your patience for dealing with the recalcitrant, little rascals is at a low ebb, but after spending so much time training them I feel guilty refusing to go, even though it is going to take 10 hours out of my Sunday, and I always end up staying late to help clean up.

I drew the line, however, at sacrificing half of my Saturday to drive out to the high school where the tournament will be held and help set up. Not that the master didn't try, but I backed out of it with a little fast talking.

I was telling the story to the wife last night. "So how did you get out of going to the high school to set up?" she asked.

"I told him I had a date with you that I just couldn't break."

"A date?" she perked up immediately. "Where are we going?"

"Anywhere but that damn high school," I told her.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A lawmaker in Tennessee is pushing to make the Bible the official state book. It would replace Tennessee's current state book, the menu at Cracker Barrel." -Seth Meyers

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"The mayor of Boston actually had to issue a statement yesterday telling residents to stop jumping from their second-story windows and rooftops into giant piles of snow. Do NOT do that at home...unless you have a camera ready." -Jimmy Fallon

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"The restaurant chain Salad Works has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Analysts attribute the failure to it being a salad restaurant located in America." -Conan O'Brien

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Connie told her 4-year-old grandson, Dean, not to jump on the beds. After several warnings she punished him, explaining that should he fall, he would hurt himself badly.

Several minutes passed... and he was back to jumping on the beds. Connie said, "Dean, you weren't jumping on the beds again, were you?"

He stood with his little head dropped low and said, "I'm trying, but it's so hard to quit."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
From the rail of a cruise ship one passenger can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is that?" the passenger asked a passing deck steward.

"I've no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."