Monday, June 9, 2014

Good morning crew,

Welcome to a new week, folks. I figured out how to pack three days worth of plans into one weekend; I took today off. But I will fill you in on the exciting events of the weekend tomorrow. I hope you enjoy your Monday because I'll be enjoying mine!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The co-founder of Burt's Bees was forced out of the company for having an affair with an employee. He says everyone should mind their own beeswax." -Conan O'Brien

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"Today is National Cheese Day. A lot of celebrities are very excited. There's Monterey Jack Nicholson. Rush Limburger. Brie-once. Mozzar-Ellen DeGeneres. And Parma-Sean Connery." -Craig Ferguson

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"This summer marks the 75th anniversary of Little League Baseball. Or to put it in Little League terms, six innings." -Seth Meyers

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Working for a Judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminal defendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful.

To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedly sold, the judge asked the prosecutor how many grams there are in an ounce.

As both attorneys checked their notes, the defendant, who had not yet entered his plea, proudly announced, "There are 28.3 grams in an ounce, your honor."

His attorney advised him to plead guilty.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.

He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

David leaned over, touched his wife's arm and whispered, "Pillsbury All-purpose, isn't it?"