Monday, December 27, 2010
Good morning crew,
Welcome back, folks. Everybody enjoy their long weekend?
Don't worry, this is just a little breather before the next
big plunge into the New Year's weekend.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
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"A new study found that women's faces age and wrinkle just
like their mothers. The study was conducted by the American
Society of Wrong Things to Say to Your Wife." -Jimmy Fallon
***
"Archeologists in Egypt now say it's not true that the
pyramids were built by slaves. They say the pyramids were
built by paid workers. You know how they financed it? A
pyramid scheme." -Jay Leno
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"Some scholars of ancient Hebrew are now suggesting that
certain portions of the Bible could have been written
centuries earlier than others. The scholars say they know
this because the newer portions all begin, 'Previously,
on 'The Bible.'" -Conan O'Brien
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Flashlights used by my National Guard unit can withstand
almost anything. And to prove it, they come with a lifetime
warranty.
Nevertheless, nothing is indestructible, which is why the
warranty also cautions, "Void with shark bites, bear attacks
and children under the age of five."
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Tarzan and Jane were expecting their fourth child and were
pretty strapped for cash, so Tarzan decided to go into the
used-crocodile business. Monday morning he got up early,
shaved, put on his best loin cloth, swung down to the river,
and spent the whole day fighting, haggling over and hassling
with cranky crocs.
As dusk fell, a wan Tarzan swung back to the treehouse and
demanded, "Quick, Jane, a martini!" Tossing it back he
barked, "Another, Jane, on the double!" Gulping it down, he
held out his glass again. "One more, Jane."
"Aw, honey, don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?" she
chided gently.
"You don't understand, Jane... it's a jungle out there."
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