Friday, February 12, 2016
Good morning crew,
Happy Valentine's Day weekend everybody. I didn't think I had any plans, but then the wife announced she wants to go skiing.
Now, she has never skied, and I haven't been skiing in practically 25 years, and I'm perfectly fine with that, but her sister made plans to go up to a little ski area in Wisconsin and somehow she convinced my wife to go with her.
I'm not sure how I got involved in this little adventure, but apparently the wife thinks she will come off looking so much better if I end up with a broken leg, or something.
My only advantage is that Wisconsin doesn't boast very steep slopes, so as long as I can snow plough my way down a few hills I should come out of it alive.
I'll let you know how it goes next week.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"The Harry Potter Studio Tour just announced that it's hosting a Valentine's Day dinner in the Great Hall from Hogwarts. It's great for couples, or for single guys who claim their date is wearing an 'invisibility cloak.'" -Jimmy Fallon
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"Fast-food chain White Castle announced this week that they will be offering dinner reservations for Valentine's Day. It's the perfect way to tell the person you love that you don't." -Seth Meyers
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"A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine's Day gifts. A good way to tell that you've lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine's Day gift." --Jimmy Kimmel
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A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five- year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator.
Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator."
To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no! Don't shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son's picture on his back."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us.
"So what changed your mind?" I asked him.
"I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!'