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Monday, August 31, 2015
Good morning crew,
I took the wife on a little adventure this weekend. A very little adventure, but still, it was something she had never done before; we went to a flea market.
For months I have been looking for one of those ceramic outdoor fireplaces for my backyard. Lots of places sell the metal ones, but the ceramic ones seem to be impossible to find. Finally, someone told me that sometimes you can get them at swap meets or flea markets, so Sunday morning I coerced the wife reluctantly into the truck and off we went to one large flea market they have every weekend a few towns over from us.
I don't want to exaggerate and say she was trepidatious about the whole affair, but when we walked up to the gate and she saw that the woman collecting the $2 entrance fee was standing in a booth with a metal security cage, the wife did start clutching my arm a little more than usual.
I haven't been to a flea market in a good twenty years and I have to admit it was pretty fun. It is a whole free market economy in one giant parking lot. They even have a big warehouse that houses more permanent displays, but out in the parking lot people just pull up with trucks and spread their goods out on folding tables and right on the pavement, too.
What fascinated me was the variety of goods and services available. At one table the vendor had displayed some brand new tools, still in the packaging, lying right next to an assortment of remote controls, used video games, batteries, and a number of different pocket watches, of all things.
The very next table over was crowded with soaps, detergents, sprays, disinfectants, fresheners and hygiene products.
So if you needed a set of box wrenches, a pocket watch and some deodorant you could get all your shopping done in five minutes without having to walk more than 15 feet.
Of course, you could do practically that very same thing in any mall, or even a large supermarket, but in a supermarket you can't haggle.
This, along with the bizarre and dazzling variety of merchandise, is the real attraction of flea markets.
I found one vendor who had a 12-foot trailer filled with all sorts of winter boots and work boots. I had no idea where he got them, and I wasn't about to ask, but they were really nice leather boots and they looked brand new, still in the box.
Since I actually needed a new pair of winter boots I stopped and tried a few on until I found a nice pair that fit me pretty well.
So I asked him how much he wanted for them.
He said, "Sixty bucks."
"Hmmm...that's a lot," I answered, rubbing my chin. "I really only have $40 to spend."
At that, the wife who was standing next to me butted in and said, "If you really like them I've got..."
But I shot her a withering stare that closed her mouth with a snap, and she began nonchalantly looking at some used skill saws at the next table.
So I argued with him for a few minutes and at the end of it I got the boots for $47!
By the end of the day I got the boots, a straw cowboy hat and a pair of used channel locks, all for about 60 bucks.
The wife was able to talk me out of buying and old tea pot that the guy claimed was sterling silver. She was probably right on that one since he was asking $12 for it.
But no ceramic fireplaces.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"It doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." --Darrin Weinberg
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"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been passionate, rebellious, and immature." --Tom Robbins
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"I'll keep it short and sweet. Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business." - Montgomery Burns, THE SIMPSONS
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A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son!"
Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried, "Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours before he did!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, "Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?"
The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately.
A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying. "My goodness," the flight attendant says, "I've never seen someone so afraid to fly."
"I'm not afraid of flying," says the man sobbing loudly, "I'm trying to quit drinking."