Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Good morning crew,

Winter does not want to let go of the Chicagoland area. It has been in the 30s and low 40s all week and it even snowed on Monday.

Unfortunately for me, Monday was the day I had to drop the truck off at the auto shop before going to the taekwondo school. And they are about five blocks apart.

That was a cold walk, let me tell you. And it wasn't helped by the wind gusting up to 30 mph and blowing those big, icy flakes right into my face.

And after classes I got to walk back to the mechanic in the dark, but at least in that direction the wind was mostly at my back.

You can imagine my enthusiasm when the mechanic told me he didn't have the right part and I had to bring the truck back the next day.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A huge document leak has exposed shady financial dealings involving famous people like Vladimir Putin and Jackie Chan. I don't know about you but I smell a buddy movie." -Conan O'Brien

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"A man in New Orleans could be facing a life sentence for stealing $31 worth of candy from a drug store. I feel for this guy. That has got to be a tough conversation once you're in prison. 'Yeah, I'm in for armed robbery and arson, what about you?' 'Oh, you know, the new peanut butter Twix.'" -James Corden

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"A woman was arrested after she admitted to purchasing gasoline, driving to her ex-boyfriend's house, and using it to set his new girlfriend's car on fire. She's now facing five years in prison and up to three Country Music Awards." -Seth Meyers

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A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions.

"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?"

The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two."

"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Now that the metric system is in wide use all over the world, we can see why American have not adopted it:

A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers.
Put your best .3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.