Monday, October 5, 2015

Good morning crew,

Who saw the Blood Moon eclipse last week? I did and it was awesome.

It happened Monday night at about 10:30. I was so excited that I started calling people while I was standing in my backyard watching the incredible event.

Unfortunately, not a lot of people like to be telephoned by a raving lunatic (heh heh) at 10:30 on a Monday night.

The neighbors probably didn't appreciate it either. Several times the wife tried to tell me to 'hush' or 'Honey, please, quiet down!' But I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I couldn't help but exclaiming memorable little bon mots like, 'Holy crap, are you seeing this!?' at several times the acceptable conversational volume.

After spending a half hour on the phone depriving various victims of their precious sleep, I turned to the wife and asked, "Isn't there anybody you want to call?"

She shook her head at me with a compassionate little smile. "My friends and family don't care about astrology," she said.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Burger King has begun bottling its own merlot and they call it Whopper Wine. Not to be outdone, 7-Eleven has begun selling a product fermented for six months. They call it a hot dog." -Conan O'Brien

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"A new study shows that teens who mix alcohol and marijuana are more likely to have a bad driving record. Also, you can take out the word 'driving' and replace it with anything." -Seth Meyers

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"I read that after facing protests, Whole Foods announced that it will no longer sell food that has been prepared by prison inmates. Whole Foods customers were like, 'This is great news--wait, WHAT?!'" -Jimmy Fallon

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My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Tina," I commented, "I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?"

"At the store," she answered.

"Which one?" I asked.

She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., Prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said.

"Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco."